Judgement

Judgement

In Singapore, there's this advertisement going around which shows a man sitting on a 'priority seat' on the train. For viewers outside of Singapore, the priority seat is reserved for the elderly, handicapped and pregnant ladies. Now the advertisement goes on to show tweets and comments about the man being 'inconsiderate' and it describes how he is such a bad person. The next scene shows all the comments disappearing and the screen goes down to the man's leg...which shows he is clearly handicapped.

We cannot escape being judged in life. That's why in this post, I'm not going through the usual "don't judge people" thing. INSTEAD, I'll be talking about how to leave GOOD impressions and how to gain POSITIVE judgements! :)

Often in life, we judge people, especially by first impressions. First Impressions are VERY IMPORTANT. I have this friend, let's name him...Jack. Yeah, so Jack likes this girl, let's call her...Jill (I am so 'creative' ;) ) ANYWAYS! Jack likes Jill. So this is what happened on one of their early meetings:

Jack's friends, being as awesome as they are decided to help him get together with this girl. Lucky boy...so many wingmen! I had like...ZERO wingman the last time I liked someone :P But that's another story for another day, Back to Jack! So during one of those group outings, Jack and Jill sat next to each other (such a coincidence) and Jack did something amazing...

He sat there in complete silence

Yeah...silent dinner. First impression totally went down the drain there :/ Jill had a negative impression of Jack from then on. No matter what Jack tried (or has tried, there's always hope)  Jill always had that negative feeling towards him. 

And that brings me to my first point:

1) Be CONFIDENT

You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Yes, change for the better, for YOUR OWN good. but don't go around changing for others. One thing a lot of people do, especially guys, is to change the way they behave in front of the opposite gender to impress them. Seriously speaking, it's obvious. Most people can see a real genuine behavior from a fake one. So be CONFIDENT with yourself! Work on yourself to improve yourself and always ensure that by the end of the day, you are satisfied with what you made yourself to be.

2) Be YOURSELF

There's a slight difference between this point and the previous point. This point applies to those quieter viewers :) If you don't usually do something, please don't try it for the first time just to impress people or someone. Most of the time, people leave...unimpressed and the only "impress" they get is a bad impression. Do what you're comfortable with. It's great to try new things, but as I said in my earlier point, do it to improve yourself, not to impress others. 

Also, for those who are a bit more robust in character, being yourself also applies to you here: Don't make the situation awkward by suddenly being that quiet guy. If you're meant to be the life of the party, don't change your style by suddenly being the cool quiet guy who doesn't say things. Look what happened to Jack in the story! He's usually a very fun loving "crazy" guy to hang around, but with Jill he totally changed. Big mistake right there. 

3) LIMIT it

What's this blogger talking about now...didn't I just say to be confident, be yourself and stuff?? Why in the world am I talking about limiting it??

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately to some of us), After the good impression is given (Just by following the first 2 points), if you keep pushing on and on, people may get sick and tired of you. Yes it happens. It's not fair, but that's the way our brains work. Have you ever had a tv show or snack that you used to watch or eat everyday but you don't anymore? Why's that? You grew sick of it? yeah...thought so. Same with people and the way they behave. Some times, people just need a break. So if you're extremely outgoing, keep being outgoing! Just with different people. Don't keep on behaving that way with the same person or group of people. Some day's you gotta tone down a bit.

4) Good DEEDS

This is something you don't have to limit. Doing Good deeds always leave good impressions on most people. Even if they don't day it, they notice it. And as long as they notice it, even just from the corner of their eye, an impression is already made. I'm not going to elaborate too much, just going to leave you with this quote:

So basically, Points 1 and 2 are there to help you with your first impressions as they really are VERY IMPORTANT. Point 3 is a little further down the road, whereby you have already established a good rapport and you're just avoiding giving any unexpected bad impressions.

Hope this post has been useful to you :) Remember, a first impression only happens ONCE!

*EXTRA NOTES*
Personally, I did not like writing the 3rd point. It is TRUE, no doubt about that. Just that I myself haven't worked on that well yet. So I guess working on that will be my next goal! :) Always improving

Leave a comment below! OR Follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Always Lifting You Higher