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Asking the right questions

This post will be about self improvement, since we all definitely have areas to work on! :)

Recently, a friend of mine claimed he wanted to become a better person (I used the word 'claimed' because he says this quite often. Haha but hopefully this time it's for real!) Anyways, after his claim, he goes on to ask "Toran, what makes you most irritated by me? Like have I done anything that made you want to punch me?"

Honestly speaking, while he was telling me that, I couldn't take him seriously at all! but thinking back now, what he did was actually very clever. 

I know I used to say accept feedback and work on it to improve. But here's some food for thought: How about actually going out to collect feedback? Actually ask what you did wrong and how you can improve. 

 

There are some benefits of doing this:

1) Reduce your insecurity and self doubt

Have you ever went into a room and you notice that your friends suddenly change the conversation or the situation suddenly became awkward just by your mere presence? You probably did something which they didn't like or couldn't accept. For people with a extreme level of self confidence, this wouldn't be a problem. However, for the average person (like me for example), there will be at least a slight tinge of self doubt or insecurity of what I did wrong. By asking, you'll be able to clear these doubts and work to improve yourself.
Note: Sometimes it's better to just ask one person in the group who you can trust privately. That way, he/she can be in a comfortable position to give you an honest answer. Sometimes when asked in a large group, they may be peer pressured and may just give you a very very vague or harsh answer.

2) You'll know who your close friends are

Other than your family, your closest friends are the only ones who are going to tell you straight to your face your bad habits and problems. They may not always come up with the solution for you, but at least they helped you point out your flaws! Which you definitely must treasure and work on it. One person who's going to give you an honest opinion is definitely much better than many sweet talkers.
 

3) You'll learn new things about yourself

I never knew how annoying my laughter can get sometimes. Really, it's super annoying. How did I find out? My friend (now friends) did it back to me. Haha yeah... ANYWAYS!!! That was just an example. Even though the truth may hurt most of the time, it's better to know the truth. There's no point hiding away from the truth. You'll just be wasting time to improve yourself. So take in constructive criticism today!


Hope this post gives you some encouragement to take the first step to ASK what you have done wrong so you can start your journey to being a better person.
Always work on your self improvement first!

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Always Lifting You Higher