Tragedy
Helping people in Times of need
I decided to make this post because there have been several sad news articles recently and it's appropriate to talk about the issue once and not just close a blind eye to it.
If you haven't been reading the news or don't know what's happening with the world right now, just take out the past few days newspapers and read or surf the net.
Week after week there's always something that happens. Be it the shooting in a school in the US, the insane weather in Australia or the recent incident of the cement truck.. (I won't be posting any pictures of these because it's quite insensitive to do so)
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| Always follow the Golden Rule when posting something online |
There's no point asking why these incidents happen. What I will talk about is what you can do to help someone who is coping with tragedy.
Whenever someone is going through a rough patch in life, what they need is a listening ear or someone to talk about it in order to heal. I used to make the mistake of just leaving the person alone to cool down or get better. But as I mentioned in one of my early posts, talking about the problem (specifically the root of it) is necessary, especially if you want the situation to improve.
Most people feel that these kind of things should be left to psychologists, professionals and religious leaders. True. They definitely provide valuable views to the situation which most of us can't offer. But this doesn't mean fellow classmates, athletes, friends, co-workers and others (depending on the situation) aren't needed. A LISTENING EAR is always helpful. Sometimes you don't need to say much, just listen, acknowledge and affirm.
It is perfectly normal and common to be afraid of helping or even approaching someone in need, but it is important to overcome that hesitation and be the friend in need.
So some things you can and should do when helping someone:
1) Listen
2) Keep your comments short (Lengthy talks may cause the conversation to change topic) <--always happens to me
3) Ask RELEVANT questions like: "What was it like?"
4) Affirm the person by showing how you feel about it "I'm so sorry to hear that"
5) PRACTICE THE 1ST POINT CONSTANTLY
You never know when the person you're helping may remember something and need to share.
There are also things you shouldn't do:
1) Use the person's story to tell them your life experience...
Remember, they are the one's who are having the problems! If you're not emotionally stable yourself don't say anything, just let them share.
2) Give advice ONLY when they ask for it.
When you help someone, both of you have to be on the same level, you can't try to be the one above them and rain advice down onto those in need. You gotta listen, and share only when they want to hear it.
You won't want this adverse response:
3) Don't worry about the different responses from people.
Different people react differently, some may respond to your help calmly, some may break down in tears, some may get angry......some may even ignore you. It all depends, but don't get angry with them (You are there to help remember?)
Most people feel that these kind of things should be left to psychologists, professionals and religious leaders. True. They definitely provide valuable views to the situation which most of us can't offer. But this doesn't mean fellow classmates, athletes, friends, co-workers and others (depending on the situation) aren't needed. A LISTENING EAR is always helpful. Sometimes you don't need to say much, just listen, acknowledge and affirm.
It is perfectly normal and common to be afraid of helping or even approaching someone in need, but it is important to overcome that hesitation and be the friend in need.
So some things you can and should do when helping someone:
1) Listen
2) Keep your comments short (Lengthy talks may cause the conversation to change topic) <--always happens to me
3) Ask RELEVANT questions like: "What was it like?"
4) Affirm the person by showing how you feel about it "I'm so sorry to hear that"
5) PRACTICE THE 1ST POINT CONSTANTLY
You never know when the person you're helping may remember something and need to share.
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| It's always helpful to just sit down and listen |
1) Use the person's story to tell them your life experience...
Remember, they are the one's who are having the problems! If you're not emotionally stable yourself don't say anything, just let them share.
2) Give advice ONLY when they ask for it.
When you help someone, both of you have to be on the same level, you can't try to be the one above them and rain advice down onto those in need. You gotta listen, and share only when they want to hear it.
You won't want this adverse response:
3) Don't worry about the different responses from people.
Different people react differently, some may respond to your help calmly, some may break down in tears, some may get angry......some may even ignore you. It all depends, but don't get angry with them (You are there to help remember?)
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| People may have many reactions to your help |
If you've been reading carefully, you'd realize that LISTENING is a very powerful tool in helping people, and it doesn't even take much effort. You don't always need to be an advice giver, sometimes having someone just sitting there and listening and understanding is what they really want.
As always, I have to emphasize that writing this doesn't mean i'm the best guide when helping people, I too struggle to help people. But like most things, the more you practice, the better you'll be at it. So listen to someone today! Be the one people would want to turn to for help. Be the Friend in need. Lift someone higher today! :)
*AND if you're someone in need, turn to someone you trust, and share. As I'd mention in my earlier posts, bottling things up isn't going to make the situation better*
Found this post helpful? Have a better way to share advices? Leave a comment below or follow me on twitter @toranseth and DM me. :) Always Lifting you higher!
As always, I have to emphasize that writing this doesn't mean i'm the best guide when helping people, I too struggle to help people. But like most things, the more you practice, the better you'll be at it. So listen to someone today! Be the one people would want to turn to for help. Be the Friend in need. Lift someone higher today! :)
*AND if you're someone in need, turn to someone you trust, and share. As I'd mention in my earlier posts, bottling things up isn't going to make the situation better*
Found this post helpful? Have a better way to share advices? Leave a comment below or follow me on twitter @toranseth and DM me. :) Always Lifting you higher!
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