Pain

Pain

Don't worry readers! I'm not in pain, in fact I feel quite in shape ;) haha ok just kidding, if you read my earlier posts you'll know I'm a small guy (a 'stick'). Ok so what's with today's title? Well I got an idea for this post from a tweet I saw yesterday:

"Pain is easier to deal with when you understand"

Most of us will go through a slump in life at least once. In fact, some of us may have a slump almost daily. USUALLY, we get out of this slump...somehow. But lets face it, there are problems that just cling on to us, eat at us bit by bit, and we just can't get rid of it. Irritating problems. Wouldn't life be so much better without them?

Wow, if that happens, I won't need to blog any more long posts! My posts will just be: "Enjoy this great carefree world today!" Unfortunately, problems, be it with or without other people involved, do happen to us, so hopefully the remaining bit of this post helps you :)

Every Problem has a Reason...you just need to understand it

Have you ever been stuck? You just can't move on, in fact the more you try to progress you get pulled back more. Like quicksand! But of course I mean stuck by a problem. The best way to 'free' yourself from these 'chains' that hold you back is finding the root cause of the problem and understanding it fully. Here's a scenerio:

As an athlete there was a period of time when I just could not improve. In fact, based on my scores, I was dropping, bit by bit, lower and lower. I even reached a point where my friend asked me when I was going to quit. I wasn't lazy, I trained almost everyday and pushed myself every time. But I never found the root cause of the problem. I was going around in circles. Improving one step and falling back two steps!
Now I'm doing okay I guess, I managed to get out of that cycle! How? I found the problem. I was working on the wrong things, I wasn't working on the things that were pulling me down.

Note: The problem usually lies within YOUrself, so look inwards to find the issue and solve it rather than blaming those around you.

If you want to do well you MUST work on your flaws. You feel you don't have flaws? Then work on perfecting your strengths. (but everyone has flaws yeah :) )

Every Problem has a Solution

After you've found the root of the problem, solving it should be a piece of cake (it should be easy). Just focus on the root cause and remove it. It's like a tumour, get rid of that thing, no point holding on to it, it's just going to destroy you as a whole.
I understand that sometimes it's hard to let go. I hold on to alot of things too, alot of habits, people I shouldn't even bother talking to, etc...
Bit by bit I work on it, I either 1) Remove it or 2) Make it something positive
The remove it part is quite easy to understand so i'll go straight into the second one:

2) Make it something positive
Remember, I said problems are 'like a tumour', it isn't exactly the same. You can change certain things for the better. How? You change YOUR point of view towards that thing or person. Usually there's no point changing that thing or person. It's not going to work easily, there'll be hesitation. It's MUCH easier to just work on yourself. Try it out and see how it goes and remember, God always has a plan for you :)

Finally, always face each day with this mentality (see picture below) :



Hope you resolve whatever pain or troubles that you may have! Remember: If life get's too tough, take a step back and have some "me time"! what is "me time" ? check out the previous few posts :)

In my next post, I'll more in depth about 'flaws' and the different views you can have towards it. Remember, we have to stay open minded, no view is more right than another. It's just which outcome you want for yourself :)

Thanks viewers! Stay awesome yeah!
Any feedback? Do leave a comment below OR follow me on twitter @toranseth and DM me :) Always Lifting You Higher

Pride

Pride

It may not be such a bad thing after all. This 'Pride' thing, I was once told that I'm too proud, I see too highly of myself. Guys that's totally.......true. Haha yeah i'm not perfect, if I was I wouldn't need to make a blog, I would just walk around the streets preaching or something. (not gonna happen :P)

Of course over time I learnt to humble down and be a better person.

BUT here's a catch, how much should you humble down? I mean think about it (Read the next phrase carefully):

"I'm not proud. It's just that if I don't believe in myself fully...who will?"

In all honesty, I'm sure many people have thought of this quote before and some may have said it, but at this very moment, I created this quote off the top of my head. (Great example of self pride here ^^)

So, how proud should you be?

Here's just ONE thing which I tend to ask myself these day's before I use my pride (be it what I do or what I say) :

Do I really believe in it?

If you believe in it, go for it. In my post "Pursue", I mentioned that you should not let anyone stop you from achieving your dreams and that you have to protect your beliefs. AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT if you don't believe in what you want to do whole heartedly?

Personally, I've always wanted to get the top grades, be the best shooter (yes shooting is my sport if you didn't know), be nice to everyone. I mean seriously, why wouldn't I aim for that. Why wouldn't YOU aim for the best? That's right viewer, I'm asking you right now, do you really aim to achieve your full potential? (If you have thought through this and you do aim to be the best you can be, read on)

You want to be the best, that's good. Now you have to believe. Alot of people want something but just can't imagine themselves being there. Yah sure, maybe you can imagine yourself being at the final destination and happy and all (the ideal), but can you imagine journey? Visualise the hardship, the trials, the problems, the minor victories. and I'm not just talking about sports, this applies for EVERYTHING you hope to do.

Here's a little exercise:
Of course, read through first before doing it :)

Close your eyes and visualize the following: (Take about a 30seconds to a minute for each point):
1) Visualize yourself as you are now.
2) Visualize yourself where you want to be in 10 years
3) Tone down abit and visualize 5 years from now
4) Visualize one year from now
5) A month
6) Tomorrow
7) Now with a clear view of what you want to do and work to do, open your eyes and get ready for a new day.

This will take less than 10 minutes! Imagine, in LESS THAN 10 minutes, you visualise and plan out an entire decade of things you hope to do and achieve. That's good right? I sure believe so!

So do this now. Visualise. It'll definitely help you gain the confidence in what you hope to achieve. Remember:
If you don't take pride in what you do fully and whole heartedly...who will?

Thanks viewers! You guys are awesome! Do share this around if you think it helped you! :)

Any feedback? Leave a comment below! OR follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Always Lifting You Higher

 

Expectations

Expectations

Most people advise on raising expectations...or maybe even increasing the number of different expectations. AND this is good...in a way...

(Here comes my favourite part)

BUT

What if I told you that lowering expectations may sometimes be what you need to do in order to achieve more?
When we set a high goal for ourselves we sometimes forget to enjoy the journey to achieving that goal. Here's an example:

The other day I was reading a book (The Secret Olympian by Anon) and one of the early pages talks about the Olympic dream fallacy. Now to most people, qualifying and being able to participate in the Olympics should be an extremely joyous occasion. You might even celebrate as if you had just won the Olympics. This book however, interviews some Olympians and there's more of a sense of relief than actual celebration.A British Olympian was quoted in the book as saying: "There's such a long build up to the whole thing, but it's mostly relief and a sense of, that's done, now the next step."

Sometimes If we keep on aiming too high and falling short or if our goals seem to far away, we may stray off these aspirations and find something else for the short term. That's why setting lower expectations is essential to keeping you on track to your main aim.

So now, go and write down 3 Main Goals that you want to achieve. Different people have different aims. In school, do you want to finally enter a top university and get a Phd? At work, do you aim to be CEO one day? As an athlete, is it to win an Olympic Gold? For Christians, To become more Christ-like?
Then write by when you want to achieve this. 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? Longer?

Next, write down your short term goals in order to achieve these Main Goals. Set about 5 to 10 short term goals to reach these Main Goals. Let me list out a 2 examples for each category to help you get started (if you're stuck):
Studies: Submit your next assignment on time. Get an A for your weakest subject.
Sports: Win your next competition. Qualify for a regional competition.
Work: Finish all your work for the day before lunch. Build a better rapport with fellow colleagues.
Being a Christian: Help out the next person you see who's in need.

I find the picture below helpful if you have trouble goal setting:

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend of mine and when I told him about lowering expectations, he thought I meant No expectations. There's a difference guys. You must have expectations. It's like the fuel of a car, expectations and goals keep you going. Lowering them helps you see the little successes better.

Basically, Lowering expectations is like having short term goals. Alot of people set many long term goals and tend to drift away from these targets as time passes. Some long term goals for athlete's are: I can win an Olympic Gold, I will be world number one, etc. Or if you're a student: I will go to a top university. I can get a Phd maybe 2, etc.

Set Short Term Goals today! Hope this post has helped you plan out a clearer path to YOUR success. Remember, only YOU can work to achieve YOUR goals, so get started today! Enjoy every bit of success you get as you work towards your Main Goal :)

Any feedback? Leave a comment below or follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Help share this with people you know who are in need of help and Lift Them Higher Today!

Judgement

Judgement

In Singapore, there's this advertisement going around which shows a man sitting on a 'priority seat' on the train. For viewers outside of Singapore, the priority seat is reserved for the elderly, handicapped and pregnant ladies. Now the advertisement goes on to show tweets and comments about the man being 'inconsiderate' and it describes how he is such a bad person. The next scene shows all the comments disappearing and the screen goes down to the man's leg...which shows he is clearly handicapped.

We cannot escape being judged in life. That's why in this post, I'm not going through the usual "don't judge people" thing. INSTEAD, I'll be talking about how to leave GOOD impressions and how to gain POSITIVE judgements! :)

Often in life, we judge people, especially by first impressions. First Impressions are VERY IMPORTANT. I have this friend, let's name him...Jack. Yeah, so Jack likes this girl, let's call her...Jill (I am so 'creative' ;) ) ANYWAYS! Jack likes Jill. So this is what happened on one of their early meetings:

Jack's friends, being as awesome as they are decided to help him get together with this girl. Lucky boy...so many wingmen! I had like...ZERO wingman the last time I liked someone :P But that's another story for another day, Back to Jack! So during one of those group outings, Jack and Jill sat next to each other (such a coincidence) and Jack did something amazing...

He sat there in complete silence

Yeah...silent dinner. First impression totally went down the drain there :/ Jill had a negative impression of Jack from then on. No matter what Jack tried (or has tried, there's always hope)  Jill always had that negative feeling towards him. 

And that brings me to my first point:

1) Be CONFIDENT

You have to be comfortable in your own skin. Yes, change for the better, for YOUR OWN good. but don't go around changing for others. One thing a lot of people do, especially guys, is to change the way they behave in front of the opposite gender to impress them. Seriously speaking, it's obvious. Most people can see a real genuine behavior from a fake one. So be CONFIDENT with yourself! Work on yourself to improve yourself and always ensure that by the end of the day, you are satisfied with what you made yourself to be.

2) Be YOURSELF

There's a slight difference between this point and the previous point. This point applies to those quieter viewers :) If you don't usually do something, please don't try it for the first time just to impress people or someone. Most of the time, people leave...unimpressed and the only "impress" they get is a bad impression. Do what you're comfortable with. It's great to try new things, but as I said in my earlier point, do it to improve yourself, not to impress others. 

Also, for those who are a bit more robust in character, being yourself also applies to you here: Don't make the situation awkward by suddenly being that quiet guy. If you're meant to be the life of the party, don't change your style by suddenly being the cool quiet guy who doesn't say things. Look what happened to Jack in the story! He's usually a very fun loving "crazy" guy to hang around, but with Jill he totally changed. Big mistake right there. 

3) LIMIT it

What's this blogger talking about now...didn't I just say to be confident, be yourself and stuff?? Why in the world am I talking about limiting it??

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately to some of us), After the good impression is given (Just by following the first 2 points), if you keep pushing on and on, people may get sick and tired of you. Yes it happens. It's not fair, but that's the way our brains work. Have you ever had a tv show or snack that you used to watch or eat everyday but you don't anymore? Why's that? You grew sick of it? yeah...thought so. Same with people and the way they behave. Some times, people just need a break. So if you're extremely outgoing, keep being outgoing! Just with different people. Don't keep on behaving that way with the same person or group of people. Some day's you gotta tone down a bit.

4) Good DEEDS

This is something you don't have to limit. Doing Good deeds always leave good impressions on most people. Even if they don't day it, they notice it. And as long as they notice it, even just from the corner of their eye, an impression is already made. I'm not going to elaborate too much, just going to leave you with this quote:

So basically, Points 1 and 2 are there to help you with your first impressions as they really are VERY IMPORTANT. Point 3 is a little further down the road, whereby you have already established a good rapport and you're just avoiding giving any unexpected bad impressions.

Hope this post has been useful to you :) Remember, a first impression only happens ONCE!

*EXTRA NOTES*
Personally, I did not like writing the 3rd point. It is TRUE, no doubt about that. Just that I myself haven't worked on that well yet. So I guess working on that will be my next goal! :) Always improving

Leave a comment below! OR Follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Always Lifting You Higher

Ask

Ask

Asking the right questions

This post will be about self improvement, since we all definitely have areas to work on! :)

Recently, a friend of mine claimed he wanted to become a better person (I used the word 'claimed' because he says this quite often. Haha but hopefully this time it's for real!) Anyways, after his claim, he goes on to ask "Toran, what makes you most irritated by me? Like have I done anything that made you want to punch me?"

Honestly speaking, while he was telling me that, I couldn't take him seriously at all! but thinking back now, what he did was actually very clever. 

I know I used to say accept feedback and work on it to improve. But here's some food for thought: How about actually going out to collect feedback? Actually ask what you did wrong and how you can improve. 

 

There are some benefits of doing this:

1) Reduce your insecurity and self doubt

Have you ever went into a room and you notice that your friends suddenly change the conversation or the situation suddenly became awkward just by your mere presence? You probably did something which they didn't like or couldn't accept. For people with a extreme level of self confidence, this wouldn't be a problem. However, for the average person (like me for example), there will be at least a slight tinge of self doubt or insecurity of what I did wrong. By asking, you'll be able to clear these doubts and work to improve yourself.
Note: Sometimes it's better to just ask one person in the group who you can trust privately. That way, he/she can be in a comfortable position to give you an honest answer. Sometimes when asked in a large group, they may be peer pressured and may just give you a very very vague or harsh answer.

2) You'll know who your close friends are

Other than your family, your closest friends are the only ones who are going to tell you straight to your face your bad habits and problems. They may not always come up with the solution for you, but at least they helped you point out your flaws! Which you definitely must treasure and work on it. One person who's going to give you an honest opinion is definitely much better than many sweet talkers.
 

3) You'll learn new things about yourself

I never knew how annoying my laughter can get sometimes. Really, it's super annoying. How did I find out? My friend (now friends) did it back to me. Haha yeah... ANYWAYS!!! That was just an example. Even though the truth may hurt most of the time, it's better to know the truth. There's no point hiding away from the truth. You'll just be wasting time to improve yourself. So take in constructive criticism today!


Hope this post gives you some encouragement to take the first step to ASK what you have done wrong so you can start your journey to being a better person.
Always work on your self improvement first!

Find this post helpful? Drop me a comment or follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :)
Always Lifting You Higher


 

 

Brick

Brick

Some time earlier in the week, I heard a story during devotion which really stuck in my head. (Yup I actually listened to morning devotion :P ) Here's how the story went (Of course I'll change it here and there to make it less monotonous) :

Imagine buying a new car, your DREAM car. For the sake of this story let's say a new jaguar.

Haha looks pretty slick right? Ok so this is your ride. You just drove out of the car showroom with all the hot girls/guys (depending on your preference) gaping and admiring your car. You're enjoying the moment and decide to cruise around the country. 

Suddenly. BAM! a brick flies in through the window. You rush out to examine the damage. Broken window, dented door...and from the corner of your eye you see the kid who threw the brick.
What would you do?
Well in this story, you rush up to him, grab him by the collar and yell at him: "THIS IS A NEW CAR, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?? $#^&#&@" I'll let you imagine what you'll scold him.

The kid starts to sob and stammers: "I'm really sorry Sir/Mdm (depending what you are, you could be both even) I had no choice, no car would stop and I threw the brick to get your attention. You see...my my brother fell off his wheel chair..." The boy goes on to point at his brother who was lying on the ground with some scratches to his face. "I can't lift him up, he's too heavy can you help me? please"

By now, you'll feel quite guilty and go on to help the boy, clean up the brother and watch them till they get back to their home nearby safely.

OKAY! Done with story. I fast forwarded the ending cos the moral of this story is the important bit.
Sometimes in life, we really do need a brick to be thrown at us. When I say this I mean both metaphorically and literally.

The society we live in, is too fast paced, the way we look to do things is efficient (fast paced again). In general, being fast paced is good, especially for work. However, this 'need for speed' has a very big setback. Most of us usually fail to stop and smell the roses in life. Have you seen working people or even students these days and talked to some of them. When you start asking them how their day was, the first thing they do is complain...and complain...and complain. Sometimes, you really want to throw a brick at them.

Ask yourself, how often do you stop and just consider other people or help someone? For most people, not very often. Back to the story, if that kid didn't throw that brick at your car, I don't think you would've even noticed him and his brother by the side of the road. Why? You were too engrossed with your latest achievement, getting the car. You know, when the original devotion was told, the storyline was of a person's car getting the brick thrown at, not the listener. And you know how it ended?
"Tom never got that door repaired, it reminded him of the incident and the lesson it thought him."

What is this lesson? When life throws a brick at you. STOP. Pick the brick up. THINK. "Why did life throw this brick at me?" Usually it's because you need to slow down or maybe even wake up your ideas and get moving. It all depends on the situation your in.
So, if you don't want a brick thrown at you (which is usually inevitable), be conscious of the world around you. BE AWARE. Look out for the people around you, because it is people which form success.

I hope this post serves a a brick being thrown at some of you readers, STOP and Lift Someone Higher Today :)

Leave a comment below or Follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :)

Mr Taxi Man

Mr Taxi Man

A 'different' encounter

I always thought that these kind of scenarios only happened in movies. But today, I realized that motivators are everywhere...EVERYWHERE. I learnt 4 different kinds of life lessons today but I'm just going to share one for this post. Today, I'll be talking about my unexpected Taxi ride.

I don't often take a taxi, I don't usually go out to the part of Singapore I went today. In fact, it was my first time going there. (Why I don't say the place is because it's a little embarrassing that I've never been there :P) Ok so, I enter the cab and I tell the driver that I'm in a hurry. It was like one of those movies. He asks me which route I want. My reply? "The fastest one". 

Up till now you'll be thinking that I had an action packed ride like the one in the movie "A good day to Die Hard", but no. The thing that was so interesting about this ride, was the driver. 

Firstly, he looked like your average guy. Honestly speaking, if I had not talked to him or listened to him, I would not have taken a second look or remembered him. 2 lessons here: Take notice of everyone and what you say gets you noticed.

The Taxi Driver and I spoke about a few topics:

1) Necessities

He starts talking...and you know how Taxi Drivers talk ALOT... suddenly our topic goes on to money

Taxi Driver: "Woah, is that an iphone 5?"

Me: "No, it's a 4. I got this with my phone plan"

Taxi Driver: "Why not get the 5?"

Me: "As long as the phone can call and text. I'm fine with anything. I used to use one of those 7/11(convenience store) phones."

Taxi Driver: "You're a good boy. That's exactly what I tell my son. I hope my son thinks like that next time!"

2) Money

Now that the Taxi Driver and I are starting to have a good rapport we continue our conversation.

Taxi Driver: "I tell my son that saving is important but..."

Me: "But sometimes when you need to spend, you need to spend. There's no point saving and being stingy and not enjoying what you have."

The Taxi Driver paused. It was a pretty long pause. I was surprised I said that too! When he finally responded he said: "That's what I wanted to say."

I'm not encouraging or promoting this mentality towards life. Saving is very important too, but so is spending. If we all saved and never spent, how do businesses earn? People who know me and have gone out with me, know that I spend on things like food and transport quite easily, but I definitely am thrifty on every other aspect of life and that's how I always have savings for a 'rainy day'. 

Now, that's not the morale part yet. The next point is the important one...

3) Life

The Taxi Driver goes on to change the topic. He changed the topic so suddenly that I felt it wasn't him saying it. I felt it was as if God wanted to tell me this message.

Taxi Driver: "In life, I believe in this: Even in the worst situation, see it as a good thing."

Me: "Be positive"

But here's what was surprising, he didn't reply me...instead he changed the topic back to saving money and how we were reaching the place already. 

It was so sudden. Life's wonders.

So today, I hope you NOT ONLY take note of the 3 points but also see how everyday conversations can teach you so much. How building rapport with people in any situation is helpful and beneficial for you! That Taxi ride was probably only 15 minutes. But I learnt so much more about life skills in that 15 minutes than what I learn in a classroom.

Today, the Taxi Driver Lifted Me Higher and I hope by sharing this experience I managed to Lift You Higher :)

Any Feedback? Leave a comment below OR follow me on twitter @toranseth :) Thanks viewers! 

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

One of the things I do as a blogger is read other blogs to learn new perspective and get new insights. Today while I was doing that... oh yah before I get to that, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY everyone! :)...

So as I was saying, I was checking out this blog and it was a really long post. BUT in that one post, I saw 3 different views about today's topic, Love.

Oh firstly, I have to warn you that I'm not giving those kind of 'Dr Love' advice, so...if you're here for that. Bye bye. But IF YOU ARE INTERESTED in reading on...

Family

I love my family. No lie. And you should too. Family is the only thing that will not let you down. yes, there are some families out there which aren't good. For those, seek help from some social welfare people. But for the majority. Family is all you got. Family is what's going to keep you alive in the world we live in.

Friends

Love your friends. In the friend way. You know like helping each other in times of trouble and all! If you haven't watched "Ah Boys To Men 2" You have to catch it. There was this fight scene and the main character Ken and Aloysius (The suck up) had the chance to run away and leave their friends behind to get beaten up by the gang. What happened? Ken went back. He stepped in to help his friends, leaving no man behind. That's the kind of friends you should look out for. One that will stand up for you and help you out in your times of need. One that will always consider things with your best interest in their mind.

People

People in general. From your everyday neighbour, to the stranger on the street. Treat everyone with love and care. Life works as a cycle, fortunately or unfortunately. If you do good things to people, you will tend to view life more positively. (Check out the January post 'Good Deeds') Most people want to be GENUINELY HAPPY, I do too. Do something nice to someone, don't worry about the outcome. Be grateful that you had the opportunity to help someone in a positive way :) See things optimistically more often and you'll feel much happier as a person too :) Always think positive

So Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! Love and Lift each other Higher today :)

Any feedbacks? Leave a comment below OR follow me on twitter: @toranseth
Thanks Viewers! :)

Pursue

Pursue

I watched another movie today. Yes by now, alot of you must have guessed that it is "The pursuit of happiness" (I'm not very creative with my titles :P)

I'm not going to base my entire post on the movie but there is one quote which I really would like to mention:

"You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period"

When I was younger, it took me very long to realise what I wanted to be when I grew up. I basically lived for the moment, like most kids, carefree. As I grew up, I started to plan my life. (Check out the last post on "You" for a guide on goal setting) So there I was, planning my life, setting goals. Nothing could stop me. Except failure...

Failure

I used to hate this word. HATE it. Especially when things had been going smoothly for such a long time. Sometimes, failure comes so sudden, it knocks you right off your feet. Sounds pretty negative right? Reread the first line of this paragraph.

That's right, I said "used to". I've come to realise something. Failure along the way makes success even more enjoyable! The journey is what makes the end more enjoyable. Just look at adventure stories. What makes them exciting? The ending when every is celebrating? or the trials that the adventurers face while they are on their journey?

People

Back to the quote I mentioned earlier.
I have an aim, a dream. To help people. Or at least motivate them to help themselves and those around them. This seems pretty good and there shouldn't be much problem doing it right? haha yeah that's what I thought, but boy was I wrong! Someone actually told me to stop helping people. Sometimes, this world we live in doesn't make sense. People encourage each other to feel sad and discourage each other from being positive. (It happens, most of the time subconciously) Stay positive guys! Lift each other Higher! Don't help people bury themselves. As you can see, I'm still posting! :) Don't ever let anyone stop you from your dreams. Positive dreams can always be achieved. It's only a matter of how badly you want it...and that brings me to my next point.

Pursue

You have to pursue your dream, your target, your goal (Whatever you call it). It isn't just going to fall from the sky...BUT if it does, you have to be prepared and recognise it. To stay steady with your dream, hard work, dedication and persistance is needed. You have to keep pursuing your dream. Or like in the movie: Pursue your happiness.
I have a friend who just seems to get everything right, always successful in his own way. How does he do it? One day I decided to ask him how he did it. His reply? "I don't consider myself successful, I just work hard"
Yes, he was being very humble. But in all honesty, I agree with him. Hard work. There's no short cut to that. Push yourself, you've got to pursue it. You have to believe that you CAN do it.

My next post will be on Goal Settings...yeah quite lame...haha don't worry, I'll make it interesting :) Hope you'll start planning and pursuing your dreams today! Remember, all great things started off as a belief. So BELIEVE that YOU CAN.


Thanks viewers! Any feedback or ideas or experiences to share? Leave a comment below or Follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Always Lifting You Higher

You

 You

Managing yourself

If you've been reading my previous posts and have been helping people, you'd realize it's a lot harder than in sounds. This post is going to focus solely on one factor that can make helping people easier. Managing YOUrself. 

How does any one of us expect to help other people with a troubled mind? It's the same logic as forgiveness. Yesterday, I was watching Spiderman 3 (again) and there came to a scene where Aunt May is talking to Peter about Mary Jane and she tells Peter: "Well, you start by doing the hardest thing: You forgive yourself."

Start with yourself. You are your biggest hurdle.

Every now and then, you need to reserve some 'me time' for yourself. What is 'me time'? For me, me time is about half an hour a day reserved solely for... me. No texts, no tweets, no talking to anyone, nothing. What do I do during 'me time' then? You think about your day, your week, your life. Here are some things you can do:

1) Pick out your problems
I usually start by picking out my problems, mistakes made and flaws. This might seem quite depressing but when I move on to the later points it'll make more sense :) Do note to be honest but not brutal with yourself. Say your flaws as they are. Never exaggerate your flaws. Here's an example: You cheated on your girlfriend. How it is: "You made a mistake by cheating, you must never do it again" How it is when exaggerated: "I'm a horrible person, I should chain myself under a rock and die".
Acknowledge that you make mistakes and learn from it.

2) Pick out your achievements
No matter how bad life gets, you're never a total failure. Even on your worst day, there's always a silver lining. Always a positive light. (Read the post on Fair ) Tell yourself your achievements, if you still aren't satisfied, repeat it to yourself. Positively affirm yourself.

3) Compare you with ... you
To me, there's really no point in comparing yourself to others. Instead compare yourself now, with what you aim to be. Personally, I would visualize myself in 10 yrs time, 3 yrs time 1 yrs time and finally 1 day's time. Set realistic goals for yourself and work to achieve them. Make yourself more positive and better everyday day.

After you've completed your 'me time' you should feel quite rejuvenated. Remember how you started off at the most negative point? The purpose of that was to ensure that no matter what you thought later on, it'll still be a positive improvement. By the third point you were being objective and ready to face the new day :)

Once you've settled your own demons, then helping others will be much easier! :) Lift YOUrself Higher Today!

Do drop a comment below or follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Thanks viewers!

Communication

Communication

Hey there viewers! Happy Chinese New Year! Hope that you viewers have a prosperous year ahead :)

As promised, I'll be talking about something we face daily in this post. By now, if you haven't noticed the title, I'll be talking about talking :P (Communication)

Something so basic that most of us can do without even thinking. How basic is it? when you woke up this morning and said good morning to someone or when you text your good friends this morning. That's already communication, the beginning of a conversation.

Every time I go through a camp or activity of some sort, my belief that communication is the key to success is strengthened even more. During orientation, there was not a single 'quiet' game, everyone was shouting, screaming, yelling, to encourage or get some instructions across. 

Here's a story that I heard recently:

A young boy sat on the road side with a sign that read "I'm blind, please help". People just walked past with the occasional coin or two into the tin in front of the boy, but that was it. Nothing more. (Don't think of these people as bad, we as a society often walk past the less fortunate without a second thought)

One day, a man new to the town walked by and saw the sign. He put a few coins in the tin. (sounds same as the rest right?) 

What he did next was surprising. He picked up the sign, flipped it around and wrote some words and left.

Later in the late afternoon he came back to see how the boy was doing. The tin was filled to the brim with money. The boy, recognizing the man's footsteps, called out and asked "Sir, what did you write on the sign?"

The man replied, "Nothing much, I just rephrased what you said"

The sign read "Today's a beautiful day and I cannot see it" 

Effective communication

Effective communication is being able to portray information in an effective way. I myself struggle with this. Personally these are some of the problems I face:

1) Talking too fast

Speak slowly and nicely. That's the best way to bring out your point. If you're gonna talk like a rattle gun, people are only going to get bits and pieces of what you say. Personally, I talk to fast when I have a lot of things to say. In the end, the usual reply is: "what did you just say?" (of course some expletives are used at times but better not to type them here :) ) Then I'll need to repeat myself all over again. If you suffer from this too, let's do what my dad always tells me, "Speak slowly and nicely".

2) Talking too much

I talk too much. Really. Effective communication should involve listening too, but if you talk, you can't listen at the same time. If you're like me on this point, let's try this: The next time you say something, take time to pause after one part to see if your listeners want to add in anything. :)

3) Beating around the bush

Get to the point. I learnt this from my girl best friend (if you don't know the previous story about this check out the early few posts). She always scolded me for not getting to the point. I'll be like "would you....err....I mean...Can we..." Looking back, that is sooo annoying. Ok, so everyone, learn from my mistake. Get to the point.

It is essential to communicate. But what will be better is to Communicate Effectively. The next time you want to open your mouth and say something, think, speak calmly, get to the point and listen to the other person's opinion. If you can do all of these, you'll definitely have a much more enjoyable conversation :)

*Side note from blogger*
Top 3 posts for the past 2 weeks:
Limits
Loosen up
Comfort Zone

Hope this post helps. Drop a comment below or you can also follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :) Always Lifting You Higher.

Knowing

Knowing

Have you ever been fooled before? Remember ever saying this phrase: "But I thought..."
Yup...it happens, sometimes what we know may turn out to be something false, untrue.

Today I had my first Theory Of Knowledge lecture! Woohoo!...ok actually it wasn't that great...fine quite boring :/

BUT

I did learn something. Justified True Belief.....+

What?! a plus? haha yeah, I was confused when I saw that on the slides at first. So what does the plus stand for?

For those who don't know, Justified True Belief used to be the only 3 main factors to determine if something was knowledge. Basically, if you believe in something which can be justified and it is true, it should be considered knowledge!
But let me bring out a scenerio which was mentioned during the lecture:
Ben needs to meet his girlfriend at 5pm
He checks his watch and sees it is at 4:33 (pm)
His watch has NEVER failed him
However, he did not know that his watch had stopped at 4:33 AM this morning

Let's stop for a moment to think. He believes his watch is correct. It is justified that his watch has never failed and it is true that it is 4:33pm...but does Ben really know what time it is?

I'm not going to tell you the solution to this problem, if you want go search: Gettier's problem

What I am going to do though is link it back to my introduction. Time and again, we get things wrong. We THINK we are right, but end up proven wrong. So what should you do when this happens?

There's only 2 steps. The first being the hardest: Admit you're wrong.
No point being proud about this, you're wrong and that's that. Just suck it up and admit you're wrong. Straight to the point. The faster you do it, the faster the relief you'll feel. Of course let there be a little cool down time, but the moment you get to say: "Sorry, I was wrong", say it. Your consience will be clear :) (or at least clearer, depends what you did in the first place)

Second thing to do: Learn
This is quite logical and beneficial to us right? I mean, if what we did at first was wrong, then shouldn't we work on our flaws and learn from it? Sounds good to me. Hope it sounds good to you too! Besides, learning from others is a very useful tool in your daily life!

So admit that you don't know everything today! Not in a pessimistic way but in a POSITIVE way! :) Admit it so you can break down your mental barriers and let in new and improved things (knowledge and wisdom)
Remember, you're not alone in doing this! I'm working on this too and if I can do it, why can't someone as awesome as you? :)


My next post will be on a problem that we all face everyday! Want to know what it is? ;)
I'm not going to spoil it by telling you! :P but don't worry! as long as you stay tuned, you definitely will not be disappoined! Till then, Lift Someone Higher Today! :)

Found this post insightful? Leave a comment below! and/or follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me! Thanks awesome viewers!

Choices

Choices

Life throws choices and dilemmas at us everyday.
Ever been in the rain and you thought that your umbrella was big enough to keep you dry? But the moment you step into the rain with the umbrella, BAM, you're bombarded from all sides. After a couple of steps you might as well throw your umbrella away and walk in the rain!

Recently, I had to make one of those future affecting decisions. I had several choices and I had to choose one. Seemed easy at first, since I knew what I wanted. But insecurity has a way of eating at you after you make a decision. I'm sure several if not most of us has had a moment of insecurity.

Let's take it from a student's perspective. Choosing your subject combinations. How many of us edit, recheck, re edit, redo, re think our choices of subjects? I was quite confident with what I wanted, Physics, Economic and English. For those who haven't realized yet, the initials for my subject choice is PEE. (hehe) But honestly speaking, I had ALOT of doubt after keying in my choice.

"Is it the right choice?"
"Will this help my future?"
"Am I going to have a future?"


There is a phrase from the bible:
Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow.They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautiful as they are.

Matthew 6: 27-29

Do not worry. MAKE a decision. and GO into it whole-heartedly  

Now here's the interesting part: How do I go about making decisions?

Sure, It's definitely easy to tell people to be more decisive, but how do you actually go about making the right choices? Here are some tips (there may be better or other ways, but these are just some things I do)

1) Ask yourself: What are your values?

Many people, including myself at times, tend to stray from our values when making decisions. Some factors that cause us to stray are like: Peer pressure, Self doubt, Good speakers... (yeah, I almost got scammed once by this extremely well articulated guy)

So now take some time, look away from the screen, and think. What are your values? 

2) Does this decision only affect you

Many people make decisions without considering how it's going to affect others. Heard of the Domino effect? For those who've never played domino before (do try it out), it's basically a game, whereby you arrange a few blocks at a certain distance from each other, when you push down 1 block, all the other blocks get knocked down one by one.

What this shows is how one action, it may even be a small one, can have an impact on everyone. Do you want an error in judgement to affect everyone? Yeah...I didn't think you wanted to either.

3) Are you in the right frame of mind?

I did a philosophy essay last year on decision making. Whether it was logic based or emotion based. I concluded it was mostly emotion based. I won't go at length on what I wrote (maybe another time) but it is true, very often we make our decisions based on our emotions. This could be good...and bad. 

Why good?

Let's say I'm trying to sell you something, I'll work towards not just having an awesome product but making you feel good too. If you're happy, the chances of you appreciating, having a positive feel towards me and buying my product is high. 

Why bad?

Have you seen how drunk people in bars or clubs make the most irrational decisions? That's because their emotions are on a high and they aren't controlling their emotions properly. They make decisions based on the moment, without thinking.

Think first, then decide. Once you've decided, don't turn back. Why? You've done the thinking process thoroughly at the start.

Choices are plentiful, so making the right choice is really important! I Hope this post helps you when you're making your next decision! 

Take care! Hope you decide to Lift Someone Higher today!

Any feedback or comments? Just drop me a note below! OR follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me! :)

Care

 Care

Can't be bothered?

Can't be bothered about someone? fine. Can't be bothered about someone who cares for you? are you stupid...

These day's it's so hard to find people who truly care for you. Honestly speaking, if you find someone who really will give their heart and soul to take care of you, cherish them, care for them too. It's really simple. We all know the phrase: Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Treat people well. Doesn't mean you will be treated well. But still treat people well.

I heard this story in chapel today. For those from my school, it'll be a good refresher. For those who aren't, it's quite an interesting story :)

On a farm, there were 4 animals. A cow, a pig, a chicken and a rat. Who's the odd one out?

If you didn't notice. The rat is something the farmer will consider a pest. So one day, a mouse trap was bought. The rat made a big fuss over it: 

"There's a mouse trap on the farm!"

The chicken replied: "so?"

The pig replied: "doesn't bother me"

The cow was a little nicer: "I'm sorry to hear that, take care!" but didn't do anything else.

One night, a SNAP was heard throughout the farm. Had the rat been caught by the trap?

The farmer's wife went to see what had been caught...

but in the darkness, she didn't see the poisonous snake that was caught instead! and she got bitten :(

*HUH? haha where's the moral in that story?? ok keep reading, I'll tell you.*

The farmer decided to boil a herbal chicken soup for his wife to ease the pain...and the chicken was slaughtered for that. 

Next, the wife didn't get better, so family came to visit. To feed them, the farmer slaughtered the pig.

Now what happened to the cow? Well, more family came to visit and yeah...he got the chop too.

That's basically the end of the story, but what I was trying to bring out was the fact that we will never see how one small thing that affects people are going to eventually affect us. But if the person bothers to share their problems, we should at least give a listening ear and try our best to help. Never ignore. Can't help? Refer them to someone who can.

Another view of things: What if you have a problem, you share it, but the person can't be bothered?

Turn to someone who can be bothered. Not some random person. Someone you can trust as equally as the person you wanted to turn to in the first place. Be it family, relatives. But let's say its something you wanted to share with your boyfriend or girlfriend and they're too busy to help you. (yes, that does happen) For guys, turn to your bros, or bro. For girls, your sisters, or woman, or whatever. (sorry I've heard too many different endearment terms between girls) Depends. But you get the meaning. 

Turn to someone who can be serious about a matter, but knows how to calm things down too and show both sides of the picture. 

We all need someone to care for/about us. Nobody likes being lonely. If you want someone to care and keep caring, you have to be willing to return the care. You have to. 

CARE FOR SOMEONE TODAY! See someone with a problem? Don't turn a blind eye! Go help! 

Always listen more. Listening is the fundamentals to the best forms of support you can give.

Lift someone Higher Today! :)

Thanks viewers! 

I have to apologise for not posting yesterday and earlier on today. Been really busy (no excuse) BUT I did help people in my daily life, and I know you definitely have been trying to too :)

Any feedback or comments? Say something below! :) or follow me on twitter: @toranseth and DM me :)